U is for Under the Covers…or, Masturbation


U is for Under the Covers…Let Your Fingers Go a’Walkin’

So, at this point in the blog-hop, I have written openly and unabashedly about threesomes, anal and oral sex, spankings and figging, many of them annotated with helpful advice. I consider myself a sexually liberated person, and I’m sure by now many of my readers consider me a sexual tyrannosaurus, so it’s funny that I should find myself hesitant now to write about what is arguably the most vanilla topic on this entire list: Masturbation.

choking chicken

Relax. He’s into auto-erotic asphyxichicken.

Gather ‘round, kiddies. It’s story-time. In my most recent release (as of this writing) for the Corbin’s Bend series, Last Dance for Cadence (available soon!), I included a scene in which the hero masturbates to release some sexual tension. I suppose it’s possible I’ve had a harder time writing a scene in the past, but this was hands-down the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt writing a scene. Speaking strictly as the author, I knew it was in character and was the most appropriate response for the situation at that time. From that perspective, I never had a doubt it was what happened at that juncture in the story, but it bothered me on a personal level, so much that I showed the scene to a dozen different people and if just one of them had indicated disapproval, I very likely would have taken it out. In all honesty, I wanted an excuse to rub that whole scene out, even though it meant more rewrites for a book on whose deadline I was already way behind, and when I didn’t get one, it made me even more uncomfortable because, really, what the hell was the big deal? In the words of a great sage of our time: she bop, he bop, we bop. I bop, you bop, they bop. Be bop, be bop a loo bop…well, the philosophy kinda falls apart there, but I’m told the sage hoped we’d understand. My point is, although I knew intellectually that masturbation is perfectly normal and a healthy form of sexual expression, some prudish part of me still rose up in my sub-conscious and gave me that look.

He's not mad. He's just disappointed.

He’s not mad. He’s just disappointed.

It’s not that I disapprove of masturbation on moral grounds. I don’t think it causes blindness or grows hair on your palms or any of the other ridiculous things people say about those of us who occasional tickle the skittle or polish the pole. My issue, once I forced myself to sit down and really get a grip on it, had to do with my character’s role as a dominant man. For whatever reason, I could not reconcile my character as being both a Dom and a man who greases his own pipe. As a submissive, I have some very fixed notions about what a dominant ought to be, and right up there at the top of the list is that he should be sexually confident, in control, and maybe even a bit aggressive. Or a lot aggressive. Or scary aggressive.

Maybe a *smidge* less aggressive.

Maybe a *smidge* less aggressive.

What’s especially funny is that even when I could not make myself comfortable with my own use of masturbation as a story element, I never had a problem with it in other people’s books. Quite the contrary, in the right hands, masturbation can be hot as hell and holy hippo dip, have I been making masturbation puns all this time??? Oh, for…okay, I’m on to myself now. Won’t happen again.

Fortunately, once I was able to recognize my internal conflict, I was able to take the first steps toward overcoming it and now I have no flaws whatsoever. It’s great to be me. And now I’m here to tell you that not only is masturbation good, clean fun for a girl or a boy or both, but it’s also great in books, serving to heighten sexual tension and foreshadow the actual act while giving your readers a taste of the treat to come. Furthermore, it can also be used to demonstrate a powerful Dominant/submissive relationship, either as the Dom commands the sub to stimulate herself for his pleasure, or as a means of introducing a green subbie to new modes of sex (for some, the idea that sex doesn’t have to include penetration can be downright shocking), or just as an excuse to incorporate toys into the book.

One of the best examples of masturbation that I have found was done by Renee Rose in her story, The Darlington Incident.

She held the letter to her heart, happy tears prickling her eyes. She had not given up hope and her relief to discover John had not, either, caused her to weep. She lay down on her bed, tucking the letter under her pillow and imagining what it would be like to be John Andrews’ wife.

He would spank her.

She flushed all over at the memory of the spankings he had already given her, the last one with the pleasure that followed most memorable. Had Kitty Westerfield implied her husband did such things to her after he punished?

Her body turned to jelly, heat burning in her core. Pulling up her skirts, she slid her hand between the slit in her drawers, finding her sex.

As if it had been waiting for her, it transformed upon her touch, plumping and growing moist as she stroked her fingers over her opening. Her heart humped, remembering the feel of his fingers inside her. Did she dare do the same thing to herself? She slid one finger in, withdrawing it before she delved too deeply and brushing the sensitive rounded tip above her canal.

Excited by the sensation her touch produced, she teased the little bud, sliding over and around it imagining herself over John’s lap with his finger inserted deep within her. She stifled a moan, writhing under her own hand until she closed all her fingers over her mons, cupping it and pulling up her legs scissored together with her climax.

I loved this story. It had everything I look for in a really awesome spanking romance. Romance, check. Plot, double check. Believable, likeable characters, triple and even quadruple check. Give me a John Andrews of my own (sorry, honey). He was the sort of dominant character that just popped right off the page and made me wish he was real.

And single.

And sooo into forty-something smut writers. 🙂


When spymaster John Andrews receives word that plans are afoot to sell England’s secrets to her enemies during the Ides of March ball at the Westerfield Estate, he is determined to bring an end to this treasonous game. Posing as a gentleman by the name of Lord Darlington to stake out the event, he is ready for anything as he mingles with the members of the ton…except falling for his prime suspect, the lovely wallflower Miss Eliza Hunt, in whose trunk the secret documents are soon found.

After new evidence leads him to believe Eliza may be innocent, John cannot wait to catch the traitors, clear her of all suspicion, and then ask for her hand. Though he fears he is not the sort of man worth having as a husband, he knows that if he wants Eliza as his own he will need to face the demons of his past and lay claim to the title and the birthright he abandoned long ago.

Eliza knows Lord Darlington is not the gentleman he purports to be, but he is the first man to see beyond the birthmark on her face and treat her like a beautiful woman. She dreams of a life at his side–and in his bed–even once it becomes clear he stands ready to punish disobedience with firm chastisement applied to her bare bottom! As he draws her out of her shell and demands she let go of her self-doubt, her desire for him grows ever stronger, but can their love survive the shadowy designs of those who would do England harm?

Publisher’s Note: The Darlington Incident is an erotic romance novel that includes spankings, anal play, sexual scenes, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

Enjoy the rest of your reading, and don’t forget to Click here to check out the other amazing authors participating in the A to Z Blog Hop going on all through June! 🙂

3 thoughts on “U is for Under the Covers…or, Masturbation

  1. Tickle the skittle – I have never heard that before but it’s stuck in my head now! I remember you talking about this and I have had one male character do this. I think just one. I didn’t find him any less dominant for it or in any way diminished – I found him stronger even. We are human, all if us. I wasn’t able to go into any detail though partly maybe because of that dominant vs submissive role. I don’t know but for me that part would be the part I would question maybe? Seeing him in such a state puts him at a disadvantage if the heroine has got her pants on. Ok I’m rambling but it’s making me think. And laugh you sexual tyrannosaurus!

  2. Thank you so much for featuring The Darlington Incident. I’m definitely all about masturbation. 😛 I pretty much always have a masturbation scene– sometimes him, sometimes her. I think the idea of the dom masturbating to take the edge off so he doesn’t push himself on the heroine is super hot. But I also just love using it to show sexual tension, etc.

  3. Of course you had to become a writer. With your way with words, what else could you have done? Funny as always. Now I have the strangest urge to go play some Cyndi Lauper…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: